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Painted Smiles

by Brother Jack

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1.
Lisa 05:33
I feel alone, so cold and alone No one here beside me to lend a hand And you don’t understand who I am I feel so empty gotta fill it with Well you don’t know my name You just turn away 16, it’s still so young But I feel much older than that 16, it’s old enough to know better Still too young to care at all Cause I gotta feel something different Than what I feel right now He holds me close, makes me feel different With each embrace I feel more than before I gotta go deeper, deeper, deeper than before It’s the only thing that makes me feel alive And anymore it don’t matter who it is 16, it’s still so young But I feel much older than that 16, it’s old enough to know better Still too young to care at all Cause I gotta feel something different Than what I feel right now You don’t think I see the way that you stare And you don’t think I know the things you say about me But at least I have a name, at least you see me here Maybe it isn’t good but it’s all I have right now Maybe I wanted more but it’s all that’s left of me You’ll never understand who I am No, you’ll never, you’ll never understand No, You’ll never understand who I am No, you’ll never, you’ll never understand I am so young only 16 I’m 16, I’m 16 And I got to feel something different Then what I feel right now
2.
Debbie 04:53
I got home from work early Put the dinner on the stove Longing for the “I love you’s” You’d whisper when we were alone I yearn for the yesterdays When I was your prize You’d walk me around With your big dreams in your eyes With a big house and a family A family with three kids You’d always take care of me Promised all the love you could give These bruises get easier to hide They barely even enter my mind But the way you look at me And the sound of your voice Rips me apart Leaves me feeling cold and alone Even when you’re by my side I caught myself thinking today About the first time I really cried You made me feel like nothing at all When you laughed at what I said It’s always the same old fight I guess you got tired of pointing out my flaws You said you’d had enough of this To find my own way home I remember that long walk home Convinced myself it wouldn’t happen again Hoping each set of headlights were yours You haven’t come for me yet These bruises get easier to hide They barely even enter my mind But the way you look at me And the sound of your voice Rips me apart Leaves me feeling cold and alone Even when you’re by my side I woke up tonight in the dark You’re lying there next to me I’ll get up and do it all again I won’t feel anything anymore These bruises get easier to hide They barely even enter my mind But the way you look at me And the sound of your voice Rips me apart Leaves me feeling cold and alone Even when you’re by my side
3.
Kate 02:58
Reciting sappy love song lyrics I’m hoping you’re the ears meant to hear them And I, I don’t know what this all means But I know what it seems It seems on tv, it’s the only words they’re saying And these magazines say I got to be playing And I’m just a little girl In this whole wide world Doing whatever I can to fit in He says he wants to take it to the next level What am I, just a video game Holding hands in your parents’ basement The look in your eyes is just stopping time Moving closer with your arm around me Nervously you say, “I want to be serious” And I’m just a little girl In this whole wide world Doing whatever I can to fit in You gotta find that one boy That one special boy And when you find him You’ll be that special girl The only girl And you’ll do what it takes to keep him You’ll learn and you’ll sacrifice You’ll pluck and you’ll curl And you’ll stay trim You’ll wax ad you’ll exfoliate And you will have figured things out by then And he will be yours Maybe this is nothing new There are plenty of boys who are just like you But this is different this time Can’t you see this is so serious Maybe I’m not ready for this But what else is a girl to do And I’m just a little girl In this whole wide world Doing whatever I can to fit in
4.
Gwen 03:25
She walks out to sea With the wind in her hair And the warm sand soothing her feet There’s no one around Except the morning gulls Scavenging the treasures on the shore She looks out to sea Thinking she’s alone She discovers the ocean smiling back at her She pulls out her thoughts And secrets one by one Pouring them into the pale blue foam She watches As they’re sucked out to sea And listens as they echo back so quietly She knows they’ll be safe As they swirl all around Mixing with the other whispered secrets
5.
Julie 05:16
Put my coat on With a briefcase in my hand Open up the door and step out into the world A smile painted on my face As I pass the man on the stairs Hiding behind this sweater He’ll never see what’s there I control what you see I control who you know I can be most anything that I want to be But never me A little less than perfect and I’m not there yet A little less than perfect and perfect’s a little less than me Looking in my mirror where less is always more Looking out through my eyes It’s a beautiful world but I don’t fit Get home late Safe here alone at home A bag of groceries under each arm Heading for the kitchen Cook myself dinner And it’s looking pretty good now Don’t feel much like eating So I throw it away I do the dishes Then I put them away Going through the motions Gotta keep a normal day Naked in the bathroom As I fill up the tub Lower myself down Swallowed by the water The hands that are washing me I connected by these thin arms When I look down I don’t recognize myself It’s been so long since I’ve seen my skin And I’ve lost what beauty was but I know I’m starving for control A little less than perfect and I’m not there yet A little less than perfect and perfect’s a little less than me Looking in my mirror were less is always more Looking out through my eyes It’s a beautiful world but I don’t fit I don’t know how this happened Don’t know, don’t know when or where But this was sneaking up on me I used to be someone Now I just don’t know I don’t know what to eat or went to sleep I don’t understand No, I don’t understand I’m out of control I’m out of control A little less than perfect and I’m not there yet A little less than perfect and perfect’s a little less than me Looking in my mirror were less is always more Looking out through my eyes It’s a beautiful world but I don’t fit
6.
Adrienne 03:39
Pigtails and sneakers, your dirty face Sticky fingered little girl wrapped up in ribbon and lace Mirrors and hairbrush, you’re playing dress up Make up and perfume, perfume, accessorize Macaroni necklace and momma’s fancy pearls Let your hair down, you’re so grown up Adrienne, wipe your lipstick smile Adrienne, kick off your high heels Adrienne, grab your teddy bear And sleep tonight Wrap yourself in flower petals Dreaming about your Neverland And sleep tonight Hop scotch and jump rope, riding your bike round the yard Picking flowers, chasing butterflies, baking your mud pies Jumping high, running fast, you’re playing real hard now Muddy shoes by the front door of your make-believe house Little dolls and plastic food, you’re building a home now Let your hair down, you’re so grown-up Adrienne, wipe your lipstick smile Adrienne, kick off your high heels Adrienne, grab your teddy bear And sleep tonight Wrap yourself in flower petals Dreaming about your Neverland And sleep tonight And sleep tonight
7.
Anna 05:25
So scared, so scared and unprepared Nothing is the same anymore I am just a child Won’t you please take care of me Mistakes, mistakes, I’ve made a few Will you believe that I loved you A tiny hand in mine With a mouth that must be fed I wake to the crying at night I wake to feel the tears are mine No longer in me But always with me No longer in me But a part of me Constant reminder Of the love that left me I guess I was too young Too young to understand I’m not ready for this But believe me child, I’ll do my best A tiny hand in mine With a mouth that must be fed I wake to the crying at night I wake to feel the tears are mine No longer in me But always with me No longer in me But a part of me
8.
I’m not doing the girl thing Where I say one thing but really mean the other Say what I mean or what I think I mean Sometimes I guess I don’t always understand myself I am not doing the whole jealous girl thing To be jealous you have to want something You tell me, maybe you’re the missing puzzle piece No pieces, maybe I’m a portrait not a puzzle It seems logical than a man like you would think What else could I be doing pining away for you I’m not doing the girl thing Where I give the silent treatment and guilt Nothing to say or I thought you wouldn’t relate I wanted to save you from embarrassment when you didn’t understand I know it’s 70°, I’m wearing pants and a sweater But I’m cold right now, just so cold right now Then in 10 minutes I’ll strip down to nothing But then I’ll be warm I am busy living in the moment and I may cover myself And convince myself that I am cold Oh, that I am cold But that’s because I’m not ready to show me to you Just give me time, I’ll find warmth when I see the sun But you see, it’s got to feel right It’s got to feel just right It’s got to be just perfect Or I’ll get cold again I haven’t talked to you in a while Cause I’m just too busy living in the moment I’m not doing the girl thing Where I’m playing mind games with you Not interested or then again just shy Maybe I’m preoccupied with something else just on my mind Don’t think you know me Don’t compare me to other women Don’t think of me as your mom, your friend, your neighbor I am unlike any other person you’ve met before The stories of my past made me the person I am today Because of this I carry my traits, my quirks, my neurosis So listen and get to know me Don’t think that I carry the stereotypes For we are all different And we are all beautiful in our own way So know this, I am

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released March 25, 2022

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Brother Jack Altoona, Pennsylvania

Brother Jack gleans inspiration from old fashioned gospel music, foot-stomping drinking songs, and long winded storytellers. He has a love for words, both written and sung. If you like weird folk music and storytelling, check out Brother Jack!

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